A Parent’s Guide to Parallel Play
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A Parent’s Guide to Parallel Play (and Why It’s Totally Okay If Your Toddler Isn’t Sharing Yet)
Ever watched your toddler sit just inches away from another child, both immersed in their own little Play-Doh worlds, and wondered, “Shouldn’t they be playing together by now?”
You’re not alone—and good news: you can exhale.
What you’re witnessing is something called parallel play, and it’s a completely normal and healthy part of your child’s development. In fact, it’s one of the six classic stages of play that kids move through as they grow—from doing their own thing, to sharing space, to full-on make-believe tea parties with rules and roles.
Parallel play typically shows up around age 2 or 3, and while it might look like kids are ignoring each other, there’s actually a lot going on under the surface. They're building comfort, observing social norms, learning emotional cues, and practicing how to be with others—all without the pressure of direct interaction. (Honestly, can adults get a version of this too?)
Let’s take a closer look at how to support this stage and why it matters so much.
🧩 How to Encourage Parallel Play (Without Forcing It)
1. Know the stages are flexible.
Kids bounce between play stages like a ping pong ball. One day they’re sharing snack-time stories with a friend, the next they’re deeply invested in solo block towers. Each stage of play—from solitary to cooperative—offers its own unique benefits. No need to rush the timeline.
2. Be a curiosity spark.
Instead of pushing your toddler to join a group, try:
💬 “Wow, I wonder what would happen if we rolled this car across the rug…”
Curiosity invites more than instruction ever could.
3. Show it, don’t say it.
Words don’t always cut it with toddlers. Roll out the Play-Doh and start sculpting next to them. Actions are your best tool here.
4. Introduce taking turns like it’s a game.
Sharing doesn’t come easy (even for adults). Use parallel play moments to plant the seeds of turn-taking—gently, playfully, and without pressure.
5. Keep kids nearby.
Simply being in the same room gives toddlers the chance to parallel play. No forced interaction—just cozy coexistence.
6. Start with mini playdates.
Keep it short and sweet. One child, one toy set, one hour. That’s all you need to start creating comfort with others.
7. Practice with safe people first.
Siblings, grandparents, even you—if your child is hesitant with peers, warm them up by “playing alongside” someone they know and trust.
🧠 Other Ways to Support Playful Growth
1. Invite them into everyday life.
Cooking dinner? Picking up garden soil? Let your child help stir, pour, dig, or sort. Everyday tasks are full of playful learning opportunities.
2. Talk while you play.
Chatter is brain-building. Narrate what you’re doing. Ask silly questions. Make up stories while coloring. You’re building language and connection.
3. Be mindful of screen time.
The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests no more than one hour of high-quality screen time per day for toddlers. And whenever possible—watch with them so you can process the story together.
4. Keep bodies moving.
Toddlers need at least 30 minutes of active play a day, and it doesn’t have to be fancy. Dance in the kitchen, stomp like dinosaurs, race to the mailbox.
5. Make art from scraps.
Recycled egg cartons? A goldmine. Old buttons and yarn? Instant imagination station. Creativity doesn’t require a trip to the craft store.
6. Don’t overthink it.
Play is meant to be fun—messy, joyful, unstructured fun. If something isn’t working, pivot. If today is more couch snuggles than finger paint, that’s okay too.
💛 Final Thoughts
Parallel play may look like “just sitting nearby,” but it’s actually laying the groundwork for cooperation, empathy, creativity, and confidence. As your child moves through each stage of play, they're building the mental, physical, and social skills they’ll carry with them for life.
So go ahead—let them line up cars next to their little friend instead of passing them back and forth. That quiet side-by-side play? It’s powerful.
And you? You're doing amazing. Parenting toddlers is no small feat. If no one has said it lately—you’ve got this.